Happy new year!

Things are looking up, I’m starting to feel nervous excitement, it’s a new year! 26 days to go!

Cookie and Jo have a baby girl, Charlotte, and I got to tell Cookie he wasn’t going to get a good night’s sleep for at least the next eleven years, har har har. He says he’s not letting her out until she’s twenty-four, and she won’t be allowed a boyfriend until she’s thirty-two. Sounds firm but fair.

The USA ups its measly initial contribution to the aid effort in South East Asia. The DEC gets so many donations, immediately after Christmas, that it makes you proud to be British. I haven’t heard that sodding Band Aid song in a week. Woo woo!

The Aidcamp is still going ahead. The charity that Aidcamps is involved with in India, SCAD, is assisting with the relief efforts in the disaster area of Tamil Nadu. I was given a very kind donation of a shed load of antibiotics by the family vet the other day, and even though the antibiotics are veterinary, they’re still good for human use and will hopefully come in useful in treating the homeless in the emergency camps. I may also be able to offer my help, but we’ll have to see – it just seems to make sense to help if I’m there and have the time to give.

Things I won’t miss about the UK (but can’t be certain of getting away from):

  • UK politics – caught between the devil and the deep blue C, Labour and Blair in particular misinterpret widespread apathy and the death of the Tory party as a mandate to do what they please, including turning the UK into a clone of the US, a politically correct branch of Starbucks, where smoking, smacking obnoxious children and eating chocolate-covered salty lard are outlawed.
  • Reality TV. Abi Titmuss is a tough cop / doctor who hopes to increase the value of her home by redecorating it with the help of Linda Barker, Handy Andy and Ant and Dec, winning new cans of paint by eating bug shit in a deep hole in the jungle, duetting with Peter Andre, and having a fight with Sharon Osbourne. Bleargh. Rubbish.
  • UK Newspapers. Many of these rags, self-appointed guardians of our collective moral conscience, seem to have limitless power to expose, embarrass, plague and pester whoever they please, this persecution masquerading as a public service, and yet people keep buying them.
  • The price of trains. On what planet does it make sense that it costs less to fly to Talinn than it does to get the train to Leeds?
  • Rubbish celebrities. Overexposed, overpaid, undertalented, and still they whinge about how bad their life is as they whore themselves at film premiers, stick enough cocaine up their nostrils to down a rhino, stumble out of bars at 3am shouting at photographers, and blag free vol-au-vents at charity events. If you don’t like your life, bugger off and get a real job.
  • Football. Footballers. Football managers. Football programs. Footballers’ Wives.
  • Did I mention Football?

5 thoughts on “Happy new year!”

  1. Oi…leave football alone! Indians are mad about Cricket and will want to talk about it and play it all the time. Which do you hate more? Football is a global passion and leaving the UK will not escape it. The only place you will escape it is the US.

  2. Oh and the Krauts are now leading the way as easily the least generous nation from what I read today in the Independent. The richest country in Europe has given a measley (how do you spell that?) 14m quid and apparantly their general public has been equally stingy with the donations.

  3. Hi Coz,

    I didn’t even realise till I started living outside the UK that the British papers were so crap. The Spanish ones put them to shame. Even the papers at the “lower quality” end of the market here have, well, news in them, which is more than you can say for the UK tabloids.

    As for football, obviously Spain isn’t a place you go to avoid it, but I think football is lamentably difficult to avoid in most parts of the world. I will be happy if you could prove me wrong on that during your travels.

    One other thing I would say I don’t miss about Britain is – the music nerd. You know the ones. I love music as you do, I have no problem with anyone genuinely enthusing about it – what I hate are those tossers who sit in the pub and compare US and UK versions of Manics albums or – get this – I actually knew one who used to be able to quote serial codes off Stone Roses extended remixes. (I was going to say 12 inches there, but not sure if you lot from the younger generation can remember when tunes came on big black circles with holes in, ha ha ha).

  4. Oh aye, I remember that, in fact I remember polishing my 78’s like it were yesterday!

    I know what you mean about music nerds – I remember Select Magazine that used to come out in the UK, don’t know if it does any more, had a classifieds section at the back just for ‘Morrissey Stuff’. I know what I like, but I’m not memorising any serial numbers and thats fer damn sure.

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